kittykittybangbang:

Yesterday Jason made me an mp3 of an awesome QOTSA video.

Today he brought home mixers so I can drink all of the things.

I think I’ll keep him.

“All every woman really wants, be it mother, senator, nun, is some serious deep-dicking.”

Can’t believe I got to say that twice in one day.

Source: kittykittybangbang

  • Her: Why are there so many commercials?
  • Me: It's like a talk show. Big segments up front and smaller segments near the end.
  • Her: Oh.
  • Me: It's like Oprah. Ever try to watch the last half hour of Oprah?
  • Her: No.
  • Me: You've never watched the last half hour of Oprah?
  • Her: No.
  • Me: In your whole life, you've NEVER watched a FULL episode of Oprah-- Oprah who's been making tv since before you wer--
  • Her: Oprah? Who's that?
  • Me: ...
  • Her: Hahahahahahaha!
  • Me: Well played.

I’m the perfect husband II

She wanted ice cream, so I put on my coat, scarf, and gloves. Then I went to the store and purchased her ice cream. With my money. 

I also took out the trash, emptied the recycling, emptied and refilled the dishwasher.

Kidding aside, I can’t express how great it is to live next to a convenience store. I can go to and come back from the store within ten minutes. I have instant access to beer, wine, chips, juice, canned soups, toilet paper, lottery tickets, and much much more. It’s glorious and I’ll never go back to life without it.

Never. You can’t make me. I kill you bitch. I’LL KILL YOU!

I’m the perfect husband

Seriously, I should get an award.

I cooked dinner.

DINNER! I found a recipe, made executive decisions on which ingredients I needed to replace, cooked it, created sides, prepared a salad, and plated the food. I also supplied dipping sauces.

Surely, a better meal has never been produced. Never has a better man, who is married to a woman, ever lived.

I might do it again sometime in 2011. I don’t want to spoil her though.

salsus: Our Save the Date! Love it and I love that these two are getting married. Love.
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salsus:

Our Save the Date!

Love it and I love that these two are getting married. Love.

Source: Flickr / salsus

I don’t get it. Why would you care? So does this mean that people that support same-sex marriage might vote against universal health care? :) salsus: thedailywhat: Chart of the Day: “Explicit Support for Same-Sex Marriage by State and Age” (pdf) by Jeff Lax and Justin Phillips of the Department of Political Science at Columbia University. Created using data collected for a joint paper on gay rights. Prof. Lax breaks it down: Seven states cross the 50% mark overall as of our current estimates, but the generation gap is huge. If policy were set by state-by-state majorities of those 65 or older, none would allow same-sex marriage. If policy were set by those under 30, only 12 states would not allow-same-sex marriage. [via.]
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I don’t get it. Why would you care?

So does this mean that people that support same-sex marriage might vote against universal health care? :)

salsus:

thedailywhat:

Chart of the Day: “Explicit Support for Same-Sex Marriage by State and Age” (pdf) by Jeff Lax and Justin Phillips of the Department of Political Science at Columbia University. Created using data collected for a joint paper on gay rights.

Prof. Lax breaks it down:

Seven states cross the 50% mark overall as of our current estimates, but the generation gap is huge. If policy were set by state-by-state majorities of those 65 or older, none would allow same-sex marriage. If policy were set by those under 30, only 12 states would not allow-same-sex marriage.

[via.]

Source: thedailywhat

getmarried: “If you have this dream in view, remember to always be true blue.” comicallyvintage: So You Want To Become Engaged…
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getmarried:

“If you have this dream in view, remember to always be true blue.”

comicallyvintage:

So You Want To Become Engaged…

Source: comicallyvintage

Hey Jim. You’re finally with Pam. That’s great. I suspect you two kids will have a long and fruitful life together. Good luck. Now slow the fuck down. This whole being perfect all the time thing? Unsustainable. You are setting high marks for the rest of us. Our ladies have to be around us 24/7. I can’t be awesome, amazing, sweet, caring, and perfect non-stop. Sometimes I need to fart. Burp. Sometimes I need to say things to the TV like, “Selma Hayek’s boobs are out-of-control.” I don’t mind running this marathon we call marriage. You just need to stop sprinting.
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Hey Jim.

You’re finally with Pam. That’s great. I suspect you two kids will have a long and fruitful life together. Good luck.

Now slow the fuck down. This whole being perfect all the time thing? Unsustainable.

You are setting high marks for the rest of us. Our ladies have to be around us 24/7. I can’t be awesome, amazing, sweet, caring, and perfect non-stop.

Sometimes I need to fart. Burp. Sometimes I need to say things to the TV like, “Selma Hayek’s boobs are out-of-control.”

I don’t mind running this marathon we call marriage. You just need to stop sprinting.

“Don’t let your husband wear a violet tie with grass-green socks. If he is unhappily devoid of the colour sense, he must be forcibly restrained.”
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“Don’t let your husband wear a violet tie with grass-green socks. If he is unhappily devoid of the colour sense, he must be forcibly restrained.”

Source: aliexplainsitall

Just let them get married! via riotclitshave:
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Just let them get married! via riotclitshave: